It’s easier than it looks

You know, in my blog I talk about some of my personal opinions, and thinking about it, this is probably the one that’s closest to my heart.

Everyone has opinions, people agree, disagree, love, hate. As a general rule, if you have an opinion if something, you can assume someone has the opposite opinion. Hence why there is so much contention all around us.

These lyrics to the Black Eyed Peas’ “Where is the love?” Describe it pretty well.

But if you only got love for your own race.
Then you’re gonna leave space to

discriminate.

And to discriminate only generates hate.
And when you hate then you’re bound to get irate

.”

So why don’t we just love everybody? Well that’s easier said than done. So what’s the solution?

Well that’s where my opinion comes in, and it’s to educate yourself! So many of the bad feelings in the world are bred purely by ignorance. By just immersing yourself in what you don’t know about, you will come to appreciate, understand, and even love it. Whether it be a different age, gender, nationality, culture, interest, or really any other kind of demographic.

I learned this at my job. I work with mentally disabled people and help them learn life skills and just live their lives with the goal of them eventually not needing our care. In all honesty, when I started my job, I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. Then I started learning. I thought to “mentally disabled” people, and I realized that in my head I had accidentally grouped every mental disability together, and that’s wrong. By being ignorant of the difference between each disability leads you to then be ignorant of each specific person.

The same goes with every single other thing. Just learn. Show others the same respect and kindness that you desire.

I’ve learned so much and experienced so much happiness because of this, and you can too!

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You shouldn’t be anything but you.

First off I gotta apologize, I jumped into having this blog with the same zealousness I do everything, and then realized, it’s not as easy as it looks. That being said, my life has somewhat slowed down and a good friend of mine encouraged me to keep writing, and reminded me how much I love it.

This post, like most of my thoughts, will go lots of places, and that’s because it’s such an important topic to me, and I need to do it justice for myself.

First I want to mention that though the title somewhat suggests otherwise, I very much believe in, and admire, the ability we as human beings have to improve ourselves. “You”, isn’t some word that is static. “You” will come to mean a million different things in your lifetime. And that’s incredible. The fact that we aren’t stuck in one position forever is freeing to me.

I also want to mention another point that seems to contradict the title but I very much believe in. Having idols is good. Being able to admire people and draw qualities from them into your own person is empowering. I myself have so many idols; ranging from members of my family, friends, musicians, actors, fashion icons, and many others. By reaching out and mirroring certain traits and qualities of others, I’m able to see myself as who I want to be.

Now sadly, I have to point out something very damaging to myself, as well as I’m sure countless others. Now this manifests itself in so many different ways for so many different people, so I only have the power to talk about my own experiences. Here goes.

I am a very “femenine” guy. Meaning I love things like romantic comedies, fashion, cooking, talking about my feelings, and just in general I get along better with girls than guys. And I love it. They are all qualities I value in myself. The bad part of this is what I feel society has made me feel because of who I am. I’ve been emasculated for my entire youth and young adulthood. I’ve been spurned by guys my age because I’m not “manly” enough. And quite honestly, that’s not cool. And you know what, I have “manly” qualities too. I love working out, rough housing, playing sports. But I can’t even fit into that societaly placed mold either. But you know, I don’t care. I love being grouped with Women and Homosexuals. They are some of the strongest people out there, though sadly that’s because of the hardships they face, and I sometimes don’t feel worthy to be grouped with them.

Long story short, be yourself. Take advice, but don’t let others drag you down to try and make you what they want. But also, don’t forget that we’re not perfect. Everyone is at a different place in their lives, everyone has something they can teach others. So learn! It’s an amazing thing! And flourish by your own means. You have control over you!

I hope this helped you, because you’re pretty important. You are you and that’s pretty dang awesome. So keep being that 🙂

-Cam

What’s Your Why?

I really love the question “why?”. it exposes a lot with just one word. It reveals our motives, our expectations, our desires, for the most mundane things we do, but also for the extravagant, seemingly outrageous things we do.

it is fascinating how many reasons one might have for a single action.

these questions are rhetorical, but think about it.

where are you right now?

why are you there?

Why not somewhere else?

I’m currently  in the student union building at the local college at a table. I’m here writing this post. I’m not somewhere else because I was tired of being alone so I wanted to be in a public place, but I didn’t want to see people I know. Hence me being at a college I’m not enrolled in. I am also waiting here for my friend to get off work in an hour.

see how there was a lot behind the simple “why?”? (Is that correct? I don’t even know.)

Another very fascinating aspect to the question”why?” is that it fuels every single thing we do. Our reasons for doing the things we do is what makes us able to do them.

I have done some hard things in my life, and not a single one of them would have been possible without my “why’s”. Without the things that drove me. The things that made it so worth it, regardless of how much it hurt.

I challenge each of you to ask yourselves, “what is my why?”

question why you do the things you do. If you don’t like the answer you get, change it. Keep changing it until you’re happy with it.

until next time,

Cam

Ps. I really love writing these and want to just write constantly but I’m worried I’ll write too much and bore you all. how often should I post?

Is Being Happy a Choice?

First off, I don’t know. I know very little for sure. I’m an 18 year old boy, please don’t take anything I say for scripture. That being said, I definitely have my opinions. But I also respect other opinions. I love them actually. Growing up my friends always got mad at me because I would always play the devil’s advocate for everything.

This is a hard question, because both sides to it aren’t fun. On one side, people could be seen as negative and closed-minded. But on the other side, one could be seen as insensitive and ignorant.

And also, I don’t think there’s just one answer to it.

Here goes.

I’ve been sad a lot. I hate it. And I hated even more when I was sad and someone told me, “being sad is your choice”, because in fact, it sucked, and the thought that I was inflicting it upon myself yet I didn’t know how to stop, infuriated me. I think that sometimes no, it’s not a choice. Sometimes you have wounds so deep you just have to hurt for a while. But that’s the key to it, just a while. Time is the healer of all wounds. It’s healed war torn nations, broken hearts, and can surely help you on the inevitably hard journey you will have.

Don’t beat yourself up for not being able to be happy. If you just desire it, and do all we can to achieve it, and wait, it will be ours. Happiness is the highest goal of all, of course it’s difficult to achieve.

There’s an enemy to all of this though. Self doubt, and it’s ugly twin self pity. There’s a nasty cycle involved there. Someone’s sad, then feels sad that they’re in that situation which makes them doubt that they can ever be happy, which in turn makes them feel sorry for themselves and no longer want anything but for others to feel sorry for themselves too.

Believe me though, I only speak of what I know for myself. I was caught in that cycle for too long. And it sucks.

I recently returned home from an LDS mission. It’s a 2 year mission trip in which you go somewhere in the world and teach people about Jesus Christ. I was in Pennsylvania. The only difference between my mission and most others is I returned home early. I came home after just 4 months.

I came home due to health complications which needed to be resolved and fully intended on returning once they were. But then I decided not to. I decided with lots of guidance that I did what I needed to do, and now I had to stay home and move on with my life.

That was a hard decision, but it wasn’t helped by the stigma that surrounds those who come home early. I felt ashamed and very much on the outside. So inevitably I became sad. I didn’t want to be home, and then some who I cared about didn’t seem to feel the same way anymore. Like I let them down.

Time went on and I kept being sad. I kept letting this hold me back. I didn’t even want to be happy anymore. Then someone just told me straight up. “Stop being sad, you’re not helping anyone, not even yourself.”

They were right. So I stopped.

Ha, yeah right. No, it’s not that easy. I still get sad, I still dwell on the past. But what’s different is I don’t let it hold me back anymore. Me being sad fuels me. It pushes me forward.

I know that every situation is so unique, but let my experience give you hope. You can be happy.

I wish you all luck in any mountain you may be facing, and I promise, even if it’s not in sight now, you will find the peak, you’ll beat it. And you will be happy.

Best wishes,

Cam

The Beginning of an Era

You know, I’ve thought about creating a blog for a long time, but I’ve also dismissed the thought an awful lot. I’d decided that nobody in their right mind would take time out of their day to read what I’d write. But then I realized that there are a lot of people out there like me, not in their right minds.

So to you, hopefully one or two readers, I hope you enjoy what I write. I plan on writing about myself, my experiences, my questions, my inevitable epiphanies, and yes, my opinions.

I hope for this to be a way to possibly help others by giving them ideas, confidence, hope, and maybe even some joy.

It would make me very happy if some people started reading this, but even happier if they’d even participate by giving me questions or answers.

Ok, so to start. Some things that define me.

18 years old. Male. Windian(white and Indian). Musical (I’ll definitely talk about that later). Spiritual (that too). 3rd of 4 boys. A child of divorced parents. An optimist when necessary. Master chef. A lover of chick flicks. Athletic when it’s easy. Connoisseur of men’s fashion. Jazz lover. Etc.

Something I’m not very good at is containing my feelings. I get attached to people really fast and it clouds my mind. I want to be a lawyer someday, but in order to do that I’ll have to conquer that.

Something I’m good at is putting myself in others shoes. It allows me to see the best in people and helps me lift others up.

I love to write, but I’ll try to keep these relatively short, so you don’t have to quit your job to read them.

And one last thing about me. Social cues annoy me. Of you want to say something to me, do it. I always try not to judge people. I value almost all opinions and always enjoy getting feedback.

Yours truly,

Cam

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton